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The Joyful Techno-tard
The Joyful Techno-tard


 
A pretty cool book for all us low-tech people living in this high-tech world.

Written by Justin Case

72 pages
Paperback
Our Price: $7.95

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Exerpt from "The Joyful Techno-tard"

Computers are evil. This is common knowledge. It is self-evident. I belong to a very secret group known surreptitiously as The League of International Computer Kwestioners and Yokels, or I.C.K.Y.. We are the only group I know of who is out there fighting to defend the rights of techno- tards. I mean, technotards are people, too and should have a few rights I would think.

There are millions of us! We at I.C.K.Y. think we need a bill of computer rights. For example, we think it would be cool if we had the right to be disconnected sometimes, the right to have a few moments each day when we are not frustrated, the right to keep our old phone for a few years if we’re used to it, the right to be googled and have nothing harmful come up on the search, just for example.

Over the past few years, we technotards have watched these basic rights dwindle. And there is nothing worse than dwindling rights, unless you consider being eaten by sharks, having spiders take over your house, or spending all day trying to fix a computer glitch.

Dwindling rights are a recent phenomenon. Can you imagine if the British had had satellite G.P.S. to locate a fleeing Washington? Can you imagine Madison having to successfully maximize his search engines in order to convince New Yorkers to vote for the Bill of Rights? Can you imagine Lincoln posting the Gettysburg Address on his political blog instead of reading it live, or Jefferson tweeting out The Declaration of Independence? Or can you imagine Grant having Lee sign terms of surrender at the end of The Civil War electronically so he didn’t have to hang around Appomatox, and then emailing it back to Washington D.C.?

No, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and the Hessions didn’t have to deal with political blogs, facebook, or G.P.S. They were technotards! They were highly successful despite having ZERO computer skills. So, that puts me and the rest of you technotards in pretty good company. I figure if Ben Franklin didn’t have to figure out how to operate a computer, then neither should Justin Case.

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